That's intense
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
