I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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