My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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