a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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