dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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