How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
