I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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