whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
