yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
