even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
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captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
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I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize