I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
