Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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