And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can't turn off my feet"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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