He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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