OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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