Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
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I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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