I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
