Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
