Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
