He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
