my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Panties = found
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
