She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dicks are not precious.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
