I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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