She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
