can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
