if you like me you must not know who I am
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
