Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
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Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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