I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE