I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
