you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number