tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
