I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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