We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
barbara walters just said penis...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
