Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize