YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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