I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
