Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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