dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
