There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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