all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize