He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize