I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
