We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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