dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
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Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
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That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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