my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
