I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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