It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
