i need an iv and a liver transplant
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
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