im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
