due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
