I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
