he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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