I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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