Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
