i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
