I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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