she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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