i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
