This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
