I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
