I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
