so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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