she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
