Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize